November 19, 2009

Enough Already!

· The Olympics
· Not enough babies to fill needs
· Increase in domestic adoptions
· Scandals
· Too few internationally approved SWIs
· Swine Flu
· New policy changes for adopting parents
· Large numbers of waiting dossiers
· Not enough workers at CC@@
· New Director

These are just a few of the possible reasons that have floated around in the adoption community over the last several years as to why it is taking so long for referrals. I am sure there are more reasons out there that I have forgotten.

Today we can add a new ‘reason’ to the list. There is a new director at CC@@ and he is unable to sign off on anything until the transitions are made. Needless to say there will be no referrals for the month of November.

Over the last few years I have tried to be very careful with what I post in regards to our wait. I have not wanted to ‘upset the apple cart’ while we are waiting, but good Lord! How much are we supposed to take? How long do I continue to bury my head and take it while our lives are on hold? EVERY time I start to feel that things are moving forward I get slapped back down, and it seems slapped down harder each time. Why don’t they understand that they are dealing with peoples’ lives? How long must we sit on the sidelines waiting to get in the game? Why are we always watching from a distance with a smile on our face, as we continue to wait.

This emotional roller coaster is Hell. It is torture. Just a few months ago we thought we had a chance at a December referral, January at the latest. Now we have this rumor that there will not be any referrals for November. This is the second month CC@@ has skipped in the last three months. No explanation, no concerns for others, just suck it up and deal with it.

Of course that’s is what I’ll do, again. I’ll suck it up and wait because:
· it will happen when it’s supposed to happen
· it won’t be that much longer
· everything happens for a reason
· be patient a little while longer
· I can’t stress about what I can’t change.
If you think I am being sarcastic here, you’re right! I am so sick and tired of hearing these phrases. I understand people don’t know what to say. Hell, I don’t know what to say to others. I feel horrible for the people who are closer than we are. It is even worse for them.

Today the tears are flowing and I’m pissed. Tomorrow will be a new day and life in waiting will continue.


  1. It is crap and sucky and awful and frustrating. You can not spin this. You will deal with it and eventually move on. But right now, throw it down like a 2 year old and let it out!

    I will not offer words cause right now, nothing can help except time.

    Hugs and thinking of you.

  2. I'm with you, pissed too and completely over all of this waiting. It is annoying as Hell!

  3. I won't give you any words of comfort... cuz I know there aren't any. I will however say that I'm also PISSED!! :)

  4. I have to say... I chuckled a bit when reading the list of "reasons"... mostly because they are the exact ones I've mumbled off to a gazillion people when they ask why. It all just seems so ridiculous anymore and I've stopped trying to give out reasons or scenarios.

    It's exhausting and aggravating. I've resorted to "I have no idea anymore".

    Right there with ya though... pissed and beaten down.


  5. Agree with every word you wrote except that it is harder for those closer than you. It is so hard for all of us. We have all been waiting so long. I don't know if it is realistic to think it will happen anymore. Hang on, at least you know you'll get there.
    LID 5-31-06
    (right behind you yet sooo far away)

  6. Just can't imagine what it must feel like for you. I'm so sorry.

  7. So sorry, the whole wait thing sucks more than words can say. Hang tough. Hugs.

  8. I'm with you - this wait sucks.

  9. I don't understand it either. i hate it too.

  10. Oh Stacy, I just hate this and what it is doing for all those hearts yearning for their children. Thinking of you...

  11. ((hugs)) my friend....GREAT BIG (((HUGS)))

  12. My heart bleads for all of you still waiting. You have all the right in the world to be furious at what is going on.