When I was little I had a couple of names that I was certain would be the names I would use for my children. I became attached to the names. Then they were shot down in an instant while trying to choose a name for our little one. I know that it wasn’t an intentional blast. I never made it known that these cherished names were a long time dream. It still stung a bit.
Right from the beginning of our adoption journey Big Bear and I chose a girl’s name. I really liked the name, but it never could replace my treasured names from long ago. It was a name thrown out in a frenzy of names and we both thought, ‘that works’. Had this adoption wait been only a few months long I have no doubt our daughter would be called by that first name chosen.
As time went on I realized that our first choice of a name really didn’t ‘speak’ to me. I couldn’t treasure it as I did the names of the past. I didn’t think about calling that name. It was just a name. Slowly I started to plant the seeds of change with Big Bear. It wasn’t well received. Unlike me, he had begun to treasure the name.
In the meantime we needed to choose a boy’s name, just incase. This happened much more easily one Sunday morning. The boy name spoke to me. I have loved it from the moment we put it together, and still do.
A few weeks later I had told some friends the name we picked if we received a referral for a boy. The first comment, the only comment, I remember hearing was, “why would you pick THAT name?’
At first my heart sank, and then my blood ran hot! How could anyone not like this name? It was after that I really began to realize how names are such a personal and sensitive issue. It cuts to the core when negative comments are said about the name you are planning to give your child. I know in the past I have made a face, or a comment when someone has mentioned a name they are planning to use, never realizing how personal it is, and that I may be hurting feelings. For that I feel terrible and am sorry.
It was after that comment towards our boy name that I decided the names we choose would be held close to the heart. People may still not care for the names we select, but hopefully they will see that beautiful picture and not give a hoot about the name.
That’s my thought any way.